Cynthia Ng'ang'a
Nairobi

Cyn the Kenyan Wordsmith

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Community penises

By on January 7, 2019

SALE! SALE! SALE!
Community meat for free! Community meat for free! Come grab yours ladies! However you like it; long, short , curved, hairy, thick all here and all freely issued to you by the king!
“Excuse me ma’am, what piece of meat would you like today?” The seller asked.
“You are telling me that it is absolutely free?” The amazed woman asked in wonder.
“Of course, they are for servicing the community. If you want to use it here it’s completely free but if you wanna take it home… That’s gonna cost you.”
“How much?” she asked.
“Your mind.”
She knew the risks, perhaps didn’t completely comprehend them,but still had knowledge of them and yet still decided to drag her newly acquired piece of meat together with a gift hamper of a jerk with no brain attached to it home. And the meat stayed home, and for a while it was a kind of happily ever after until the meat could no longer suppress its old habit of community servicing. Soon, she was running around the street, her hair once permed and held in a nice bun, now flowing haggardly around her shoulders sometimes sticking in the holes of her tattered frock, bare legs staggering on the jagged rocks running after a piece of meat. A few kilometres away, the man at the stall received a call from his bank manager, his payment had been deposited. The man shook his head; he always warned them but they never listened and if she was like the rest, she would still come back begging to take another variety of the same meat home. Once a mind was lost to a piece of community meat, it could never be recovered.
* * *
So Lilian Muli and the husband broke up. And I could not be happier; seems Santa actually received my wish list this year. Don’t get me wrong, I like Lilian Muli and I want the best for her and that’s why when I read her post on Instagram about how she had dropped her community husband, as she put it, and would now focus on raising her boys, I gave a whoop of joy. Finally, she has broken free from the chains of running after community meat! It sounds degratory I know but under no circumstance will the defiant call this a big spoon! So many women suffer from one bad marriage to the next looking for something they already have in them but society has suppressed it so much they don’t know if it exists. I have my own theory; if it doesn’t work the first and second time then it will work the third time when you are alone! They say ; first time – something’s wrong with him. Second time – something’s wrong with you. But nothing’s wrong with you honey you are just part of the revolutionalised species women who are too independent to live under the big foot of a bloated ego from Pluto.
To be honest, I am tired of getting angry at men! Men are a clueless species you can be super mad at a guy and he still brings his goofy face near you and when you click or something he goes like “Oohh…Today is the fifteenth, that time of the month huh?” (What is it with guys and thinking that menses come on the fifteenth or end month? I told you..clueless species!)
Anyway being mad at a man and hoping things will change is equivalent to loading a 45. to shoot a porcupine at night. So I’m not going to waste my time. I’m angry at women. Women who continuously allow themselves to lose their minds under some mental sexist colonization that makes us believe that we need a man in our lives. Angry because, we educationally enlightened women are the ones who are supposed to be leading the way for our less fortunate sisters still battling FGM in some rural part of the country. Imagine freeing yourself from the slavery of inhumane customs just to land face first into the mind-decapitating slavery of narcissistic, community penises in the pretence of marriage. So next time you come across a stall for free community meat, do take a bite, after all our bodies still need protein nourishment don’t they? But no matter how sweet or satisfying the meat is, don’t take it home. Leave it, trust me it ain’t going anywhere and if it does its gonna come back after making some unfortunate woman lose her mind. So Kudos to Lilian Muli for realizing to put it in a black American woman’s words, ‘ She don’t need no damn man in her life!’ None of us do!

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1 Comment
  1. Reply

    Khim

    January 7, 2019

    Well said..gracia. However,its absolutely intermediating letting what one beliefs in be guided by the outcome of an almost similar issue that happened to someone else,a mean yearh its not a must do thing for a lady to have a man according to what most of ladies..but I think(personally) its a must for a lady to have a man. What a lady should be in charge is the purpose she serves to the man thus abit of power of a lady over a man is inhaled to life…yes i agree that the world is run by ladies but not single ladies buh rather married ladies…so argue it out who belongs to who ?

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